I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.-Philippians 4:13
People used to say that I was a strong person. I think they watched me as I lived with my mother, my best friend, fighting cancer for seven years and then pass away in 2005. They saw me "keep it together" on the outside. The truth is, I may have seemed strong on the outside, but I was a mess on the inside. For years, I battled depression and I made poor choices in an attempt to win the battle. I had meltdowns on a daily basis and I begged God to make my life easier. Now, seven years later, I have all new struggles...raising two children, balancing work and family life, losing weight, being a Godly wife, being responsible with finances, taking care of a home, etc... Within the last year, I realized that these struggles are actually blessings that force me to grow in my faith and lean on God. I quit praying for God to change my children, to make my workload lighter, to take away the extra weight I carry around, to change my husband, to help me win the lottery, etc... I have learned to ask God to give me the strength I need to be the mother He wants me to be, to make the right choices when it comes to balancing my work and my family life, to make good food choices and to exercise, to be the wife He wants me to be, to make good choices with my money, etc...
My daughter is six weeks old today and people keep asking me how I'm doing and how I'm feeling, and my response up until now has been, "It's much easier the second time around.", but who am I kidding? Parenting is not easy! The truth is, it's not easier this time around, it's just as hard and I have been surprised every day that goes by that I don't have a curl-up-in-my-bed-and-cry-myself-to-sleep-meltdown like I used to have until the other day when I looked down at my right hand and read the Bible verse that is on a ring that a wear every day: I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.-Phil. 4:13. I realized why I'm not having meltdowns and why things seem easier. I have been asking God for strength and He has been answering my prayers over and over again. So, from now on, when people ask me how I'm doing and how I'm feeling, I will say..."STRONG!"
