Becoming the Mom I Always Wanted to Be

I always knew I wanted to have children. There was never a doubt in my mind that I wanted to be a mom someday. I pictured it all very clearly...playing at the park, eating dinner together, playing together, reading books together, cuddling together on the couch, teaching him new things, celebrating holidays together, etc...So, you can imagine my shock when my newborn didn't want to play with me or sit in my lap while I read books to him. In fact, I spent the first 5 months of Logan's life wondering what I had gotten myself into. I often thought that being a mother just wasn't for me...no sleep, changing diapers, breastfeeding, even less sleep, changing diapers, breastfeeding some more...not exactly what I had dreamed about! My, how things change...Logan will be 1 year old in a week and I finally feel like I'm becoming the mom I always wanted to be:

It's too cold to go to the park now, but I'm sure we'll be there a lot next summer. We eat dinner together on most nights and then I usually spend an HOUR cleaning up all the food on the floor and everywhere else, but it's fun to eat together as a family. I actually get to play with him on a daily basis. Now he plays with his toys (opposed to just chewing on them) and he plays peek-a-boo and hide and go seek with Jesse. He also loves to be chased and he'll giggle when you catch him. He loves to be read to. He actually fusses when I put a book back on the shelf and reading has become something that often calms him down. Tonight he cuddled with me on the couch while I watched the end of Grey's Anatomy. He just laid there in my arms and sucked his thumb and I ate it up. I can teach him new things every day. Logan often mimics sounds and words that I make, as well as movements...he's like a sponge right now!!! And there are some holidays coming up that are going to be a blast with Logan by my side (and Jesse too!) I love both of them so much and I can't wait to enjoy more mommy-filled days!